Why “Never Talk To Strangers” is a wrong-headed idea

I heard a public service announcement on my public radio station today, the jist of which was be sure to tell your children to never talk to strangers.

Wait!  What???

Since most of the people a child sees any given day (if they live in a metro area) would be people they have never met, that means they are being taught to go around purposely ignoring and treating as threatening almost every other human being they see in the course of their day.

We need to teach children that there is that one nut that will hurt or abduct you.   But what about teaching them SKILLS….

the SKILLS they need to relate to people, meet new people, and navigate each encounter?

I agree in general that CHILDREN don’t need to talk to strangers, but their PARENTS definitely should.  But I typically observe that the parents avoid contact with strangers too, because they are trying to model the behavior they want from their children–and in the process, adults all over the country are ignoring, treating as dangerous. the very people that could become friends, spouses, leads to new jobs or business (if self employed)…  This is complete lunacy!

Parents are the role models.  So what if they model street wise behavior…and model the idea—to use an old cliche–that “A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet.”

Parents can model common streetwise intelligence–how to determine if any given person is safe to talk to:   things like, where is this occurring –a dark alley or a safe place?  And is the person acting appropriately, making eye contact (but not too much) and so on..

What I see are young parents completely isolated from others in a hostile (not) world, ensconcing their children in their apron strings…

…  Both adults and children need the street wise skills to make their way in the world;  skills that are a complete enigma because of this ludicrous blanket admonition of “never talk to strangers”.

So, show your kids HOW to relate to each stranger in a smart fashion, let them begin to practice talking to strangers while you are present, and as they get older, armed with streetwise-ness, encourage them to go out alone with that old cliche:

“A stranger is (might be) just a friend you haven’t met yet.”

Thank You for considering this important concept.  Have a friendly day.

Trella

Advertisements

Words that kill, words that heal, that make a new earth

LOLcat - I Must Go

Words matter…i realized today that words are my passion.

words my mom’s cousin Fletcher Kneble got to be a best selling author using

words that heal

words that kill

words and pictures that were put forth to the public, that angered some insane psychopaths who then killed a lot of people

Words matter, pictures matter, music matters. What is put out via any media outlet MATTERS.

I have been feeling like my life is a bust, since i am over half a century old and have done nothing that really has helped to heal the pain of the human race or make anything better or offer up any solutions to the myriad strife and suffering.

but today i decided to be passionate about making a difference —-and how?

With the words, the words… the words that i offer up…

the words that i write, speak , sing, share on line, or in person or in a magazine or a book or with my family, neighbors, store clerks

WORDS MATTER. i love words and what they can do, they CHANGE the world,…make it better or make it worse…

they have to be considered carefully, p[preferably with love and healing as their aim… and humor absolutely,…

humor in words is one of the best teachers and healers there is or ever will be
I don’ follow news but my heart is hurt so much, at anyone dying , being killed.

it hurts for the killed and the killers and all the relatives and friends, this is a state of deep sorrow for the human race… as was 9 11 and the other acts of terror.
it means we choose and use our words with purpose, with love, knowing that our words have POWER ….they MOTIVATE people do do things, bad things or good things; but words are the foundation of who we are, they are what we have that other species (for the most part) don’t have…
we are the ones who with our words can re-make the entire human race into something better, a human race without war, without hate, without fear….

we can COMMUNICATE with scared and sick people to help them, to comfort them, and sometimes to appease them to make sure they don’t hurt or kill anyone (or at least take it as our duty to be aware of hate and fear inside people who are very sick, that can lead to killing. To be aware that what we do can reduce and eventually eliminate the fear and hate.

that is certainly a reason for me to live, for anyone to live, maybe it is the ONLY reason anyone is on earth at all, to SOLVE these problems… not to futilely seek pleasure, buy things, make gobs of money to hoard…

to be a voice. A VOICE that may appease or heal one or one million who fear and hate, to be a force that is the light that illuminates the dark….

if you think of light,….it doesn’t need to fight or argue with dark…cause anywhere there is light it just magically removes the darkness… merely by existing…no force needed, simply allow the light to be , to be.

The light.

The light.

The light

…the light. Allow it to simply be..,.

The Most Beautiful Motivating Book on Writing that You Will Ever Read: If You Want to Write, by Brenda Ueland

If You Want to WriteFrom author Brenda Ueland’s book, “If you want to write”

“Why should we all use our creative power and write or paint or play music, or whatever it tells us to do? Because there is nothing that makes people so generous, joyful, lively, bold and compassionate, so indifferent to fighting and accumulation of objects and money.  Because the best way to know Truth and Beauty is to try to express it. And what is the purpose of existence Here or Yonder but to discover truth and beauty and express it, i.e. share it with others.”

Many famous authors cite this book as a major source of inspiration firing off their creative lives and committment to said.

I urge you to check out this book, as it is one of the most alive, passionate things I have every found to help focus on creative work.

Peace Out

Trella

 

 

Quote for the Day…

From The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius   59
  57. The sun appears to be poured down, and in all directions indeed it is diffused, yet it is not effused. For this diffusion is extension: Accordingly its rays are called Extensions [Greek] because they are extended [Greek]. But one may judge what kind of a thing a ray is, if he looks at the sun’s light passing through a narrow opening into a darkened room, for it is extended in a right line, and, as it were,is divided when it meets with any solid body which stands in the way and intercepts the air beyond; but there the light remains fixed and does not glide or fall off.Such then ought to be the outpouring and diffusion of the understanding, and it should in no way be an effusion, but an extension, and it should make no violent or impetuous collision with the obstacles which are in its way; nor yet fall down, but be fixed and enlighten that which receives it. For a body will deprive itself of the illumination, if it does not admit it.Marcus Aureliuss seems to say that showing your light is all that is needed to remove darkness, that you needn’t fight it, or try to prove that your light is right and the dark is wrong, just let that sucker SHINE!

HOW WILL I GET THROUGH TODAY WITHOUT GIVING IN TO DEPRESSION?

Each day there is that pull, to just sit in the chair and stare at videos on you tube or tv, eat all day even though I am not hungry, and just quit my jazz guitar adventure….but this blog is helping me to commit to something greater.  Each day i have to be aware that the habit of just becoming a depressed blob is there, and I have to read, write  meditate (NOT medicate), take a walk…do anything I can to rally myself to be on my own side, to not pretend that I don’t exist…

To me, depression is a feeling like you don’t exist, and yet you are here…the pain that, yes, you ARE here and you must accept yourself.

How do you accept yourself, love yourself, show yourself the loving kindness you would to a friend or a child?  There, I have begun to turn it around…

I imagine a kid on Christmas, a child…the child in me…what right do I have to deny her the chance to live, to have fun, to hurl off the fetters of depression and low self esteem and just declare “I AM HERE, YOU BETTER NOT FUCK ME OVER TODAY YOU BITCH”

Maybe that is me talking to the bad person my mom sometimes was to me, the mom that wished i would just disappear –the “uncaring mom” that now lives in my head.. that thinks i am too much trouble to have around…

BUT THERE ALSO THE LOVING MOM..the one in my head, and the one my mom was before we become disconnected from each other.

That is the mom I will have with me today, the one that loves me and wants me to succeed, to love playing jazz guitar, to eat in a healthy and tasty way, and to get exercise in the outdoors–by the way, studies have shown that exercise is as effective as anti depressants at countering depression!!!!

YEP it is time to LIVE my life, play jazz music, and try to be part of the solution for me and others like me, that artists  the sensitive ones…here is to all of you my fellow bloggers!

Here is a fav jazz player, Herb Ellis, so free in his playing…now THAT is something that washes away your depression! learning to play jazz guitar…(or _____ – insert whatever works for you, something that demands you be in the PRESENT!)