So is it just too much to ask that we save the world? It IS a lot…
Reading Pema Chodron this day before Valentines day the book opened to a page on the “Second Commitment–Taking Care of One Another”…And the chapter called “Beyond Our Comfort Zone”…
From the Book “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change”
“…if we long to alleviate suffering, what can we do? For one thing, we can invite everybody and open the door to them all, but open the door only briefly at first. We open it only for as long as we’re currently able to and give ourselves permission not to close it when we become too uncomfortable. However, our aspiration is always to open the door again and …keep it open for a few seconds longer than the time before. The results may be surprising. In opening the door gradually, not tying to throw it open all at once, we get used to the shaky feeling …(of) people we can’t quite handle coming to the party. Rather than thinking, I have to open the door completely or I’m not doing it right, we start with the intention to keep opening that door , and bit by bit, we tap into a reservoir of inner strength and courage that we never knew we had…intention to take off our mask, to face our fears….I once asked Dzigar Kongtrul about this….yes, I still have those feelings, but they don’t catch me. He is, it seems, NO LONGER AFRAID OF FEAR.
Those raw feelings can even inspire us to action. When asked if he had any regrets, the Dali Lama said he felt responsible for the death of an elderly monk that came to him for guidance. When asked how he had dealt with that feeling of regret, how he had gotten rid of it, he said he didn’t get rid of it. It’s still there, but it no longer drags him down. It has motivated him to keep working to benefit people in every way he can.”
Love and being in a relationship is not the sexy thing Hollywood leads us to believe… but it can be so much more, and better, than the Hollywood version.
Taking care of someone is not so…sexy. They are sick, they are mentally ill (at times) and you just have to hang in there….but they are not ALWAYS sick or ALWAYS messed up in the head…so hang in there. it is better than throwing them away and starting all over again …and you know, if you are younger you may think there is one perfect one and just try to find a better model, but they are all broken and damaged so you better just work on the one ya got. Happy Valentines day.